god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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