Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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