I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize