Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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