I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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