So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i dont even know how to be here
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize