i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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