you would pick up someone in the library
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize