you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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