DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize