My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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