imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize