You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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