Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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