I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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