Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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