One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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