You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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