dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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