So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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