This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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