you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize