You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize