the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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