I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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