Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I believe in your delicious
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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