babies were throwing up all over the place
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize