Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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