after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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