she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I need a beard to bite.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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