Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize