i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize