For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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