i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think a kid would responsible me up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize