If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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