Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize