So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
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So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
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It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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