ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize