she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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