No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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