My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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