Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
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I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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