3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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