I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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