Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize