The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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