youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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