every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
FUCK WHALES
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize