Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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