i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize